Change as a Comfort

Humanity both fears change and welcomes it. Accept the change as a comfort and the fear melts away.

Over the past three and a half years, since my severe adverse reaction after my second COVID vaccine in April 2021, I have hung onto the truth that change is the only constant. This fact became a comfort I clung to on some very dark days. 

There were times in my life when things were going well. I felt comfortable and feared change. I had a job that paid well, what if I got laid off? My kids are healthy, what if they got deathly sick? I have a nice house to live in, what if it burned down? 

These past three years, life in my body got extremely uncomfortable. I couldn’t withstand the discomfort and was longing for change. Sometimes I even hoped for a peaceful passing in my sleep because the pain and fatigue were so bad. I was afraid it wasn’t going to change for the better. Many times it felt like despite my efforts to improve my health, things were getting worse.

No matter what I longed for, only one thing was certain, it was going to change. 

We see proof that change is inevitable in the seasons. It is that time of year again in Minnesota when we have cooler days and the leaves start to turn colors and fall. There is nothing we can do to stop this process. It is natural, it is right and it brings the comfort of sweater weather. 

This year, I noticed that things that I used to fight against in nature, like dandelions, also just run their course. Instead of fighting against the yellow flowers sprinkled on my lawn that I have been taught to hate and kill, I let them be and they eventually died on their own. (Side note: dandelion root is known to help many things from cholesterol to digestion to inflammation.)

More recently, I have learned to take my cues from nature. However, in the first few years after my reaction when the pain and fatigue were intolerable, I longed for quick change and relief. I looked outside myself and frantically searched for ways out of the misery.

These quick fixes force change and the change is temporary. Percocet definitely provided some quick relief many days, but I knew that wasn’t sustainable or good for me in the long run. When I really started applying the cues from nature to let change come to me, things began to shift. 

I had longer periods of time between flare ups. I began to engage my inner knowing of what works best for me rather than looking to health care professionals to tell me what I should do. Instead of bracing against a flare up, I remember that this too shall pass. When it does pass, and it inevitably does, that change is extremely comforting.

So as the leaves turn colors and the change of the seasons sets in, I wish you comfort. Know that all of humanity both fears change and welcomes it. When you accept the change as a comfort, the fear of it melts away and the knowledge that it will bring you to your next right path is like a warm sweater on a fall day.