Curiosity Didn’t Kill the Cat

Fear and Lack of Curiosity Killed the Research of COVID Vaccine Adverse Reactions

One of the most difficult things I had to deal with after suffering from a severe COVID vaccine reaction in April 2021 was the pure and utter lack of curiosity about what was happening to me.

Again and again, I was shocked both by some of my “friends” and neighbors, and within the medical community. Instead of curiosity and support, there was quick judgement that it “couldn’t be” because “the COVID vaccine is safe and effective.”

Living in Minnesota, we have a world renowned medical institution a short drive from my house. I spent several nights in the hospital there assuming that they would either help get to the bottom of what was happening with me or at least study what was going on so that it would be less likely to happen to others. Sadly, I was mistaken.

Four years later, unfortunately there is still a lack of curiosity. It is improving, but there is still division, judgement and stigma associated with and to all of those who have suffered reactions.

According to AI, the phrase “Curiosity Killed the Cat” is “a proverb used to advise against prying or being overly nosy about things that don't concern you. It suggests that excessive curiosity can lead to negative consequences.”

But, what about COVID vaccines and their safety? They concern everyone. The more we understand about why some people suffered a reaction, the safer we can make vaccines for all people. Was it our genetics? Was it a manufacturing issue? Was it the new technology?

We cannot know the answers to these questions unless we put down our judge gavel and get curious. When we judge a person we miss out on the opportunity for true human connection.

I love this scene from Ted Lasso. He says, “They [kids at school that belittled him] thought they had everything all figured out. So they judged everything and they judged everyone. And I realized that underestimating me, who I was, had nothing to do with it. Cuz if they were curious, they would have asked questions.”

I have come to learn that the lack of curiosity about my severe reaction to the COVID vaccine from those “friends”, neighbors, and doctors that didn’t ask questions, wasn’t about me either. It was about judgment based on fear.

Fear took many forms:

• Doctors were afraid of losing their licenses for spreading misinformation so that made a patient like me more complicated and dangerous to treat.

• Friends and neighbors were getting their boosters and bringing their children to get their vaccines which made my reaction scary.

• Mainstream news outlets didn’t want to cover stories like mine for fear of losing major funding from pharmaceutical companies.

Where there is fear there is lack of curiosity. You have to step away or take a pause from the fear in order to get curious, research and ask questions. Judging takes seconds. Curiosity takes more time and is more vulnerable.

In all court cases before a judgement is made curiosity includes discovery and a trial where evidence is presented. In 2021 when I had my severe reaction, I had doctors tell me “it doesn’t normally present like this” to which my response was “we have a brand new vaccine, maybe something new is happening.” I was hopeful he would get curious and help me figure it out.

Even though there are a few more researchers interested in those who suffered reactions, we are still stuck in a tough spot. It has been over four years for most of us and to date only the Yale LISTEN Study has stuck their neck out. We are a touchy subject. We are the elephant in the room.

The researchers at Yale saw the similarities between those with COVID Long Haul and those with reactions to the COVID vaccine. And instead of only focusing on Long COVID, Dr. Iwasaki and Dr. Krumholz included us in the study.

True scientific study requires curiosity. It requires a hypothesis and then testing and retesting that hypothesis. There was an emergency use authorization in place because the vaccine was rushed to market. Now that the emergency is over, we are long past due to study reactions in depth. Especially when pharmaceutical companies have immunity from liability for adverse reactions.

This part concerns me and was not something I was aware of until after I suffered my own reaction. Does the average person who accepts the booster understand that if they have an adverse reaction to the COVID vaccine that they can’t sue the manufacturer. I know I didn’t.

All manufacturers make mistakes and most are accountable for those mistakes with laws and class action lawsuits. They have a financial stake in the game. Corporations are driven by money so having a stake in the game would force them to improve the safety of the vaccine.

Curiosity didn’t kill the cat—snap judgments did. What I’ve come to understand through this journey is that true science, true progress, and true human connection all begin with curiosity. Not the kind that’s nosy or reckless, but the kind that’s brave enough to ask hard questions and sit with uncomfortable truths.

When we judge, we shut the door. When we get curious, we open it—to discovery, to healing, to each other. My story isn’t an attack on medicine or science—it’s a call to return to their core purpose: to learn, to evolve, and to care. Like Ted Lasso said so well, “Be curious, not judgmental.”

It’s not always easy. Curiosity takes more time. It requires humility, humanity and a willingness to say, “Maybe I don’t have it all figured out.” But if we want a future that’s safer, more compassionate, and more honest—we have to be willing to ask the questions, even the inconvenient ones.

That’s how we move forward. Together. As a team. As Team Humanity.