A Cure for Loneliness = Team Humanity
By Suzanna Newell
What is loneliness? For me, it is the feeling that you are experiencing something that no one else understands. It is physical and emotional suffering that you feel like you have no way out of. It is the feeling that no one cares.
My experience as a COVID Vaccine injured person sent me into the depths of loneliness. My active body and mind, that I took for granted, deteriorated overnight. I was no longer able to care for myself. It was terrifying and confusing. I grew concerned that I was dying; and no one, outside of my family, seemed to care. Not only was I concerned that I was dying; I was concerned that this would happen to others and I felt responsible to alert people to the potential severely disabling side effects.
It is no wonder that an intense loneliness ensued. As I went from doctor to doctor, endured test after test and eventually landed in the hospital, not only did I have very few answers; many of the doctors thought I was just dealing with anxiety. Overnight anxiety without a cause? This didn’t make sense and I knew my body. It was a convenient diagnosis for something they didn’t understand and weren’t willing to acknowledge.
I also felt alone as the country was so divided by those who thought it was our civic responsibility to take the experimental vaccine to stop the pandemic; and those who felt that we should have a choice and more research should be done. I found myself square in the middle of this issue. I willingly got the vaccine hoping to spare my mom and disabled sister exposure to COVID from me; and I wound up physically worse off than both of them with a health care system that had no idea what to do with me. When I shared my scary experience with many of my friends their immediate first question was “Are you sure it was the vaccine?” “Yes,” I said, “All of my symptoms started within 30 hours of the shot.” Their doubting of my uncomfortable truth was unintentionally hurtful and more isolating.
My loneliness deepened and I went online researching and looking for answers. Trying to find others who had reactions as well. When I found them, I realized their experiences and symptoms were 90% aligned to my experience. I didn’t want people to be suffering like I had been, but at least I knew I wasn’t crazy and I wasn’t alone. These bonds with online strangers became my lifeline and my dear friends. We shared symptoms and ways of coping with each other. Soon after I serendipitously met Kristie by the Mississippi River. She is my Moderna Vax Injured twin and now friend for life. You can read Kristie’s story with this link. My story continues.
Our in person connection was powerful. To suffer alone is the most painful kind of suffering.
I began connecting with other Minnesota injured through friends of friends. Finding other people who experienced overnight intense burning pain, stiffness, dizziness, trouble walking, brain fog, heart racing, ear ringing, vision changes, just to name a few was heartbreaking and consoling. Hearing that their doctors were stumped as well made me so sad, but also relieved at the same time knowing I wasn’t alone in finding medical help.
It didn’t take away the physical pain, it took away the feeling that I was experiencing something that no one else in the world understood. My new injured friends gave me recommendations for things they were doing to help temporarily relieve the physical and emotional suffering and recommended the doctors that were quietly acknowledging COVID vaccine injuries. I felt like someone cared and understood me. This was a game changer and I felt driven to connect with more people so we could support each other.
I reached out to anyone in the online groups that said they were from Minnesota. Others found me from the speeches I was doing about my vaccine injury. Minnesota Team Humanity was born out of these connections. We are a group of injured and non injured Minnesotans who show up in love and support. We provide a listening ear, a meal, a hug, an opportunity to authentically share our uncomfortable stories. In a world divided by Blue and Red politics we come together from all walks of life and political beliefs in the Purple intersection of Humanity. We are now up to over 50 Minnesotan COVID Vaccine injured with hundreds of supporters. A community grew not in hate and finger pointing, but in love, support, and humanity to scoop up those left behind in the wave of the political divide during the pandemic and at the end of the pandemic.
Photos by Anna Botz
What is the cure for loneliness? It is the feeling that you aren’t the only one. It is the feeling that someone else understands. It is the feeling that your physical and emotional suffering will not last forever and most importantly that someone cares. That someone will sit beside you in your uncomfortable truth. That they see you and hear you even when the rest of the world has moved on. It is the feeling that even though your body doesn’t work the same anymore, you are still an important part of humanity. Because we are all one. We are all a part of Team Humanity. Will you join us?
To learn more about Team Humanity and its supporters please read one of our latest posts. If you would like to connect with Team Humanity message us via Substack or email us.
MNTeamHumanity@proton.me
Beautifully written. Thank you for being transparent and vulnerable. I am sad that we are still here.