Unintentionally Inconsiderate Comments to the COVID Vax Injured

Team Humanity Monday Messages of Hope #4

Anyone who has experienced a COVID vaccine adverse reaction has had their share of both intended and unintended unkind comments about their situation. My friend and fellow injured Shaun Barcavage created a post on X that shared his top ten. I have heard all of them from both doctors and friends.

It is heartbreaking that people don’t understand how these comments can add insult to an already painful and isolating injury. You wouldn’t share how proud you are of not having cancer to someone who was recently diagnosed or brag about your three healthy kids to someone who recently had a miscarriage. But, politically charged topics seem to give people permission to flaunt their good fortune to someone who is experiencing tragedy and trauma. In the case of the vaccine, Shaun’s #1 “I got my shot and I was fine” is the most common and is very dismissive and isolating.

What an injured person wants to say back is “I am so glad to hear that because I wouldn’t wish the intense, invisible, painful, scary and traumatic experience on anyone.” It is interesting that the media and government “safe and effective” narrative makes it so difficult for people to respond first with empathy, rather than defensiveness and disbelief. Most of us speak out because the experience is horrible and we just want to be studied so this doesn’t happen to others.

Here is Shaun Barcavages’s (@ResearcherNP) X Post:

Top 10 stupidest things doctors have said to me as someone injured by the Covid vaccine. Please add yours. 

1.  I got my shot and I was fine. 

(It didn't happen to me, so it didn't happen.)

2.  Are you sure it wasn't just a coincidence?

(Sorry Doctor, but I  can't think of any other illness with such a crazy array of symptoms with onset within 24-48 hours of my  vaccine.)

3. "Try to stay positive, think of all the lives we saved."

(Relegating you to the status of acceptable casualty not worthy of helping.)

4. "Are you sure it is not just anxiety?"

(No Doc, I am not sure what form of anxiety triggers your heart to soar to rates of 150-180 on standing.)

5. "Are you sure you didn't have Covid?"

(Perhaps a legit question, but no Doc, I have been in lockdown for weeks with zero exposures, zero symptoms. The only time I left my house was to get the vaccine. And my symptoms started with 15-20 mins post injection of Dose 1 and severely worsened after dose 2)

6.  From a top NY nerve specialist: "It can't be the vaccine, there is nothing in the literature about this.  There is no evidence to support this. I will contact my people at NIH about this." 

(This was early 2021.  With zero history of covid mRNA use in humans, there was NO literature on AEs.  What they really mean is there is NO EVIDENCE.  Since there is no research, they can default to his statement. You can't find what you are not looking for.  After he contacted NIH, he learned they were studying people just like me and asked them to do a presentation to his colleagues. He never got back to me after.)

7. "....but you look so good..."  

(Never sure how to take this one as I am not sure how a person with cardiac arrhythmias, raging tinnitus, muscle twitches and full-body neuropathy is supposed to appear.)

8. "This is so rare, no one is going to research this, and it is too taboo.)

(Not sure how rare it really is when I learned no one reported me in VAERs and most docs did not report the majority of the other cases I encountered. But he was spot on about no one wanting to research this.)

9. "Try not to focus on your symptoms too much."

(Not sure how you are supposed to divert your attention from 24/7 high screeching hiss in your head, bee stinging sensations everywhere including your eyes, as well as feeling like you are burning from the inside out.)

10. "I am afraid symptomatic treatment is all we can provide as there is no evidence -based protocols for this.)

(Since no one is researching AEs, there will never be protocols or guidance. This is when you realize the failures and limits of modern protocol driven, insurance driven, corporate driven medicine. While I understand risk vs benefit, many of us were left to worsen from delays in care and lack of research.  This was even in the context of NIH  recommending various interventions to try to halt dysimmune processes.)

I believe that people aren’t being intentionally cruel. It’s not the same as the “you are so dumb for taking the vaccine in the first place that you deserve to die” comments. But these messages all fit into the bucket of ”blame the injured.” They all lack scientific curiosity and most painful of all, they lack empathy. So before the unintended hurtful words come out of your mouth, please pause and think before you speak. Instead of saying “maybe you are just getting old” to someone who suffered a vaccine reaction, first walk a mile in our shoes. Our aches and pains are not from the natural consequences of time. Instead of telling us to “think positive,” sit with us quietly for a minute in humanitarian empathy. 

To struggle is to be human and we all just want to be seen and heard. When the doctors listen longer to our struggles we may get closer to the why behind the what happened to us. Figuring this out will help all of humanity. Connecting deeply in empathy will help all of our souls.